AC
AC's Blog

Sunday, February 28, 2010

Six Months Later

Thank you to everyone who has supported me this past half year during the most difficult time in my life thus far. All I can say is that in the beginning, the worst part was being alone. No one would believe me. People would think they were made-up and dramatized stories just to make my college life sound interesting. I would not intentionally choose to live a hard life and lie to make myself sound like a bad person. It takes so much energy to open up to someone, even a friend, about a difficult situation. To be ignored or dismissed is painful. But we all go through times when we have to endure something we cannot control or we just have to fake a smile.

There so many things I wanted to blog about, but were too personal and I'm not sure how people would react. For the people who listened and have given me strength and encouragement to move on and work harder, I honestly want to thank you and appreciate you for being a part of my life. I know that people have moved on with work and other things in their lives, so it touches me they'd take the time to remember old friends. I can honestly say now that if I had just had a glimpse of what would happen, I would never have set foot here again. No amount of scholarship is worth it. But I was one of those greedy people who considered money more than other important things that would have benefited my life.

No matter how much empty space is around me, I will not try to make something impossible happen. There are people who are worth sharing your life with, and people who aren't. And after 5 years of going through this, I am not going to stand being taken advantage of, being lied about, and being disrespected. All I hope is that there are only a few months left and I hope good things will come to those close to me who are struggling now. Maybe one day, I'll have the strength to open up about myself. But right now, it's just too hard when there's people out there who don't believe in me.

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Posted by Alice at 9:34 PM

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